Temperance – Bringing Real Balance in Our Lives 

This deck of cards live in my main living area and I also have another on my bedside table. They consist of the major arcana cards only from the traditional tarot system from the Visconti deck. 

This is what I do to deepen my connection with the tarot system and raise awareness around my own self growth.  I shuffle the cards consisting of the major arcana cards only and choose one or three cards that I will be working with for what’s to come in my life. Never in my 16 years of doing this practice has it ever been wrong. It’s an awesome intuitive practice.

Temperance is what was chosen and I had a feeling to share the energy of Temperance because more than ever in this world we need some fucking Temperance energy! 

Temperance is about balance, integrating aspects of ourselves we may keep separate in different parts of our lives. This separation causes a lot of stress that most of us are conditioned to accept. We’re taught to not be ourselves in certain situations and ‘roles’ in our worlds because it’s not the ‘right’ thing to do. 

Just fuck that. This type of thinking needs to fuck off. 

Balance, I believe comes from self acceptance and healing those aspects that maybe off balance, which if we really think and reflect on is not giving ourselves permission to BE ourselves. For how many reasons we have held back from truly expressing and being ourselves because we may not have been aware of these conditioned behavioural patterns. This is a build up of unexpressed energy and emotion that eventually breaks and usually in the most chaotic ways to create healthy change. 

It’s a growing awareness around these patterns, our wounds that keep us in these patterns, and what triggers these wounds to slip back into these patterns. This is what we need to get to know intimately and it’s here we begin to create balance in our life and learning to feel with awareness and changing our behaviour. This is what working with dark and light means. It’s not ‘dark’ as most people see it like its bad stuff, it means our emotions are in darkness when they are internalised -kept inside, when we express them they become light because there are seen and moved. It’s the constant internalisation of our emotions that throws us off balance. 

Think about it, without knowing this how can we create true balance knowing that it would be so very easy to slip unaware back into these behaviours. 

And it’s time loves, it’s just fucking time to be ourselves. 


Five of Wands – the struggle

I’ve had this blog post in the back of my mind for some time now. The insight and wisdom of what the five’s in tarot can teach us about ourselves and the healing they offer is one I encourage when we are feeling blocked or struggling. The five of wands speaks of conflict, struggle and competition but I want to simplify this card and at the same time add a little more depth.

The wands suit is connected to fire which is passion and energy. The number five is connected to the planet Mercury. So let’s put together what we know and have a look at how this relates in our lives.

I’ve been personally working with this card because I’m experiencing a lot of change with my work and for someone like me who has a lot of energy, having a clear direction of where I’m headed is so important.

And with like all change, we observe ourselves pushing to make things work because we want something to flow but as you can see from this card there is no flow if we are pushing to make things happen. We are in battle with air and fire, with thought and expression. Mercury is a planet of communication and is connected to the element of air and as you can see when we put these two energies together there is conflict.

The communication is off and yet we have the motivation, determination and energy to create (fire) but our minds are in battle and the way we’re communicating within ourselves is creating struggle and conflict.

If you are feeling like the five of wands, I would suggest looking at any expectations you are placing on yourself, your life or a loved one and explore in depth why you are pushing for this expectation. What is it that you want to happen? What is it that you emotionally NEED that you have to push to make things happen? We can see when we break it down how it comes from a place of fear and exploring this with the 5 of wands will offer you a greater understanding and give you the clarity you need to go with the flow.




The Wheel of Fortune

As Lammas approaches in the southern hemisphere, I felt it was appropriate to connect with the Wheel of Fortune in the tarot as we give thanks to Earth Mother for a fruitful harvest and reflect on what we have experienced and learnt throughout the year so far. It’s a time to reflect on change as the wheel turns, the days will become shorter as the Great  Mother prepares for the Crone aspect as we head towards the colder months.

Change. We all struggle with accepting change when it first appears. It is human nature to fear the unknown. It naturally brings up emotion and uncertainty because what we’re really preparing for is allowing something to come to an end, surrendering to  death, allowing it to transform who we are to birth something new.

I don’t believe it’s always the physical act of change that makes change so challenging but more the powerful emotions it provokes as we permit it to transform our lives. If we consider the wounds we carry around change along with the natural fear human beings have of the unknown which exacerbates what we feel it’s no surprise we resist change, yet as the saying goes, ‘ the only constant thing is change’.

“Energy flows it is not meant to stay still.”

I see change and chaotic change as two different things. There’s change where we may change our jobs or end a relationship, then there’s change where many changes happen at once or one after another and there is no rest from the emotional turmoil to gather our thoughts and feelings but to surrender to the whole process and give in to what we are feeling.

So let’s look at the Wheel of Fortune in the tarot system so we can separate from the physical change even if it’s for an hour and tend to what’s happening within and grasp at least some of what we are feeling in hope for some clarity to make the transition a little smoother.

The Wheel of Fortune represents the Great Mystery. The energy which creates and binds all life. It is the deeper meaning behind each experience and an opportunity to heal through change and heal the wounds we carry around change because let’s face it, most people want to be in control though it is an illusion to think we are which many hang onto and an illusion which creates so much discomfort and turmoil.

When we hang onto a thought, feeling, a belief system, an expectation, without allowing room for change, we are not only setting ourselves up for a whole lot of discomfort but blocking ourselves to live our life to its full potential. It is what we think should happen and not accepting what is in front of us that we need to surrender to, accept and tend to. It takes trust and belief in self knowing however and wherever this journey takes us we have the strength, clarity and willingness to understand and grow through the experience and steer it with enough room to accept that there will be many detours and curves along the way.  It’s learning to trust in the unknown and see it for what it is – the great mystery, the divine, a surrender to spirit, a surrender to your authentic self.

Reflection and Journalling on the Wheel of Fortune

Some of the most simplest but most profound questions can make a whole lot of difference to our life direction when journalling on the Wheel of Fortune.  The questions to journal and reflect on while gazing into the card image and journalling on each one are:

How does change make you feel? .. and why?

When you consider surrendering to a situation you did not expect or have no control of,  what emotions come to the surface? Which emotion is the most dominate one and why?   Once you have the answer to this question, take it a little deeper and connect it to an experience which made you feel this way in childhood then journal on this experience. Remember to be aware of this in the future knowing when unexpected change or when you feel you’re not in control of a situation, these feelings will be triggered. This is one of the most important lessons to grasp when exploring your inner world to be aware of what triggers powerful wounding, grasping a solid understanding around it and allowing yourself to feel these feelings without placing belief into what you feel but allowing it to move through you.

Do you trust what you intuitively feel? .. and if not why not? What emotional blocks are you aware of that you need to work through so you can trust your intuition? When did you first realise you don’t trust your intuition? Write about the experience. 

These questions will help you begin healing around change and help you connect with the Wheel of Fortune on a deeper level giving you more clarity to read the card when it appears in a spread.

Wheel of Fortune from The Mary El Tarot.
Wheel of Fortune from The Mary El Tarot.






Intention and Focus Tarot Spread

Each year around this time I reflect on how my year went and what I want to focus on in the coming year.  There’s always some fear that shows itself. Whether you feel a little disappointed for not accomplishing what you put out to do or fear of what you do want to accomplish in the following year..or both! 

Regardless it’s a great time to get clear in your personal and business life and I want to share the tarot spread I use to journal on with everything I mentioned above with the intention to get clear with direction and the emotional body. This is one I created myself. 

Intention & Focus Tarot Spread

Draw two cards (or more if you feel) for each question. One for personal looking at where you are now. The second for business, same question for both. For this to really work for you journalling is needed. Don’t overthink the answers just write what comes through, let the cards speak to you. 

1. How do I truthfully feel about my personal/business life right now? 

2. What do I need to change to be more aligned with myself/vision? 

3. What do I need to let go of?

4. What emotional blocks do I need to confront to move forward towards love and abundance in both personal and business? 

5. What new energy/ideas are wanting my attention? Is there any fears manifesting this new energy/ideas? And if so what are they? 

6. What small steps can I take to implement authentic change?

7. Finally, what can I love and accept more about myself? 
Journalling with this spread is a must and it’s a spread you can use anytime of the year to get aligned with your direction but it’s one I pull out twice a year. I use it for this time and again June/July. Would love to hear your thoughts if you do use this spread how clear it was for you. Feel free to send me an email xxx


Introducing the Dark Goddess 

I wanted to do a brief post on the Dark Goddess and the exploration, connection and study of the Dark Goddess which I will be sharing more of as this is my own personal path with Her and how we can use the tarot to connect with Her and to deepen aspects of ourselves. I believe a very big reason why the world is in the mess it’s in today because we have done and still do everything we can to try and silence and not acknowledge Her presence though regardless She is still speaks just in a more destructive form when we don’t allow Her to flow within our lives.

First I want to debunk the myths that the Dark Goddess is negative. She is not. She is the Mystery itself, the darkness where everything begins and every returns to. She is also light. Think of darkness. It can be peaceful and loving, an endless calming nothingness, think of the night sky and how peaceful that is. How about the beautiful womb space where life grows until it’s ready to see the light or a seed in darkness till it’s ready to push through the surface with its first leafy shoots. Darkness carries duality like all things from nature and withholding expression of our light when it’s ready to be seen can be tumultuous and be seen as darker emotions. Our human qualities of light and dark include heavier and darker emotions such as anger, jealousy, frustration, sadness, grief, rage etc is qualities in the mythologies of both light and dark Goddesses so we can not only relate but learn to understand our humanness and get to the source of connecting with the Goddess herself. She is hidden within our own darkness and to understand and connect with Her we must be courageous to confront our own fears and shadow selves.

I think it’s here where so many fear Her because to connect and understand Her we must confront the shadow parts of who we are and confront any fears and heavy emotions to receive the light of Her, of ourselves. She is both light and dark though we must take the journey into our own darkness to know and connect with Her, to know the light and wisdom She brings into our lives and to discover and connect to our own light.

People fear Dark Goddesses because they naturally evoke our own darkness we keep hidden from ourselves and deny the acknowledgement that it exists. We deny this for many reasons and the reasons can be different and personal for each individual but one we all share which society has created is a feeling there is something wrong with who we are by having and expressing darker emotions shaming and silencing our personal power. As if we haven’t already in our childhoods so we continue to push down the very part of our own light waiting in the darkness for our presence, the very essence of who we are and our own pathway to true emotional and spiritual freedom.

This is taught for really one main reason, to control. If we are fearful and insecure of our very own nature and oppress the true nature of who we are it’s much easier to brainwash and control and when we don’t own all of who we are parts of ourselves belong to someone else whether we are aware of it or not. If we’re feeling insecure we are more than likely to follow whatever we’re being taught we ‘should’ do from a source outside of ourselves.

You can’t control a person if they own their power and love both sides of themselves which is what the Dark Goddess teaches us.

There are many Dark Goddesses but I will share my own experiences with the three Dark Goddesses I walk with: Kali Ma, The Morrighan and Hecate. I look forward to sharing so much more in hope that some of what I share is embraced so the person who reads this begins to love and connect with the Mystery of who they are and sees the beauty and love within their own darkness.

There is nothing to fear but the true greatness of who you are. They’ll be a part two to this very soon. XXXX

The Morrighan – artist unknown

Business or Personal Journalling with the Tarot

I’m currently on holidays and placed myself on an artist retreat because I’m just feeling a lot of new energy and creations wanting to come through and part of this is a hell of a lot of writing. We can all relate when when we want to get the creative juices flowing or want to shift some emotions we’ve been caught on and what has always helped me is journalling or painting with the tarot.

Yes painting! There are times when I’m sitting at the easel and I just feel stuck something is wanting to come through and I can feel it strongly but something emotional is also wanting my presence and with two very intense energies you can just imagine it’s about now I want to fucken scream! 😀

What always helps is pulling out a tarot deck that evokes a lot of emotion and for me two decks always cuts through it, my beloved Mary El Tarot and the Tarot of the Vampyres.

Tarot of the Vampyres

I’m a lover of darker themed decks to me they speak the truth of whats actually happening within the seer/seeker and in any situation questioned. There’s no fluff and I feel nothing is missed it gets to the point which is what I want. So if I’m feeling blocked when I paint one of these decks will make a show and I will shuffle and pull a few cards out till I can really feel my emotions peaking and then I bring that to the canvas occasionally glancing at the spread to keep things moving. It always works.

Journalling whether it’s personal or business, same deal. Don’t get caught on asking the cards anything just shuffle and pull cards out. We don’t want to go into interpretation when we are already feeling a lot just keep pulling cards and allow yourself to get lost in the images and let them speak to you. Have them in front of you while you write. Just write don’t judge or question it just allow whatever wants to come through you. I do this both personally and for business. Yep 😀 I use the tarot to create business ideas always and I just keep writing and the most amazing creations come through whether its pen or paint.

The Mary El Tarot

It’s here I want to say that if you don’t own a darker themed deck it really is worth the investment emotionally and spiritually to purchase one that speaks to you. You certainly can do this exercise with a lighter themed deck but I truly feel there’s something about the darker decks that take you in deep and that’s what we ultimately want is to deepen our relationship with self, this is what the journey’s all about.

If you give this a go let me know I would be interested to hear about your experience. xxxx


Owl Medicine and The Moon Card

Just one of the many beautiful things having a strong relationship with the Earth gifts you, is receiving medicine and sharing it with anyone that is willing to listen.

Connecting outside yesterday,  I received a vision of an Owl and how we are to connect with Owl medicine to support us with the next wave of energy our planet will be experiencing. When She moves we move with Her. To help connect with Owl Medicine we can use the energy of The Moon card.

Owl Medicine is connected to intuitive and psychic ability it supports us to trust ourselves. Owl teaches us to see within our own darkness and to see through the darkness of others to not only protect ourselves when we need protecting but through exploring our own fear and emotion we receive insight and retrieve the light from the darkness and have a deeper understanding of fears and heavier emotions.

Owl also shows us where we are deceiving ourselves again taking us deep to explore the emotions that are distorting our clarity. The Owl and Moon card go hand in hand. Through the exploration of our shadow self we retrieve wisdom and courage to face our fears allowing for our creative energy to flow through connecting to a clearer channel with our divine self.

If this calls to you, use The Moon card to explore any fears that have surfaced at this time. Begin with emotions that are heavy or uncomfortable and begin journalling from there having The Moon card to gaze upon while you write. This meditative exercise, you will be surprise how deep it will take you.